yellow or clear?

as in, what should the color of urine be? for as long as i remember, my pee has always been yellow. except when i have a lot of beer, then its more towards the clear side. my wife says its because i don't take in enough fluids during the day and that pee is supposed to be clear. that weirds me out.

so much so that today as i'm taking a piss, i'm really taken aback that my trusty ole' yellow is staring back at me. granted, i've been drinking a lot of water today as i'm trying to flush away a head cold.

but dammit if i'm not stunned anyway.

shaving, shmaving

what the hell?

as i've alluded to before, i'm growing tired of shaving. and seeing the fact that gillette is about to break a 6 blade razor got my ire up again. during this holiday season, i've grown very lazy. i grew a beard last week, shaved once, and then have been mangy since last tuesday. yesterday i decided to shave, but then stopped short and shaved a pathetic goat.

for those of you in the know, my scroatee may even be weaker than the dudeman's chin pubes. i have the tendancy to grow pretty thick chin hair and then have trouble linking it to my pathetic upper lip fuzz. the fuzz is still coming in blonde rather than my natural poo brown hair, so i don't know what the hell is up. it seems to be coming in a little better than several years ago when i last tried it, but i still feel dumb.

i hate goats. (love the animals, just not the facial hair.) i think they're ridiculous. i'd much rather go with the 70's porn stache, but i can't grow that. or maybe the abe lincoln, but i'm sure that just wouldn't work unless i got a matching stove top and i'm not about to do that. maybe the neckbeard would be fun, but i have a feeling the wife or the employer would fail to support that. i feel like such a jackass with this thing. i'll try to remember to post a pic soon.

anyway....6 blades? come on! the jump from 2 to 3 was revolutionary. i could take the transition to 4, but to completely skip 5 blades and go to 6? that's just downright pompous.

much like my idea for a lawn-sized mower (place on lawn, flip switch and viola...yardwork is done!), i can't wait until the day when you put your face in a mask and come out clean shaven. how many blades will that take? or will it be something cool i don't even know about? now that's a razor to get excited about.

happy holidays

i love this man.

i'm totally gaying out for him. i wish that movie science were true. if it were, i'd try to get arnold swartzenegger's baby potion so that jon and i could have a baby together.

i feel so out of touch. taking care of the baby, no tivo and living at the inlaws' house has made me miss on the greatest joys of my life.

another one of those days...

stuff i've researched today...

alas, i knew thee well
ri-goddamn-diculous
mcsweeneys
free music*


* the catch is that you have to sign up for a 2 week trial membership. download your fiddy tunes and get out. recommend friends to get another 50, but they have to register too. so if you're interested, let me know so that i can email you a link. i want more free tunes, dammit!

killing time/me

so its my bday. and as such, i lack any motivation to do any work. but this is worse than my earlier post. i started the day with a migraine and decided that the two of those things combined made for a mental health day. albeit at work.

so in my wanderings, i came across a fun little site. i was looking at the latest jib jab movie and they had a link to a site where some asshole rates childrens' drawings he sees on the net. that's pretty fun (and i think if you follow the link below, you should be able to stumble across it) but not as fun as another page i came across.

this guy is typically just ranting to rant. think of him as attempting a jim rome "take" without getting paid to do it or perhaps just some foul-mouthed young adult that doesn't get laid enough. he has a couple good posts - i read the star wars rant. although it was kind of funny, it still wasn't as good as this.

i knew there was a reason i liked comics.

public pooping

for the longest part of my life, i've had a severe case of public poophobia. i still maintain a piece of that, but at places that i'm comfortable with (the office, client's office, frequently visited restaurants - NEVER bars mind you), i have no qualms plopping down and clearing out.

i've even relaxed a little to go sans nesting at work.

but the whole point of this post is that, i am quiet when i have to drop the deuce. i don't talk to anyone. i make my poo and go about my business.

i walked into the restroom this morning to take a whiz and some dude was in there grunting as though he was delivering a baby. check that...he was making more noise than my wife did when she had keira. and i'm not talking the physical noise of turd departing from anus, i'm talking about the guy grunting like a motherfucker. it was pathetic. i can't for the life of me remember a time when i've ever needed to grunt to lay a turd. i do strain and stress from time to time because quite frankly, i don't have enough roughage in my diet. but excerting enough force to not be able to contain vocal noices simply has never been in my world. it was gross to say the least.

at least the guy gave me a courtesy flush once he realized he wasn't alone.

lack of motivation

what the hell is wrong with me? here i sit at my new job, not even a full 2 weeks in. and i can't for the life of me find the drive to do something this afternoon.

i think i lack the mental fortitude to actually bill 8 hours of time a day to my clients. i have plenty to do. research to read, pre-production details to cover, status reports to update. but fuck me if that's not as enticing as reading about my buddy's neckbeard (in his "where was I?" post) or checking in on the latest news in comics or even checking out this little ditty about bert blyleven. i have to admit that i only came across the blyleven site from a smartbrief i get about the ad biz. so at least that's billable to something.

got news today that "my name is earl" and "the office" are moving to thursday's at 9. good stuff. check it out if you're not already. its not "arrested development" or even the brit version of "the office," but it works.

i started watching "smallville" thinking that since i'm a comic geek, i should be watching this. its crazy. think "buffy the vampire slayer" meets the superman mythos meets the female bodies and outfits from a UNIVISION variety show. those chicks have some smoking bodies. high school my ass. from a comic geek standpoint (which i don't really consider myself that deep into it), i don't like it. the plot kind of sucks. but then again, its hot chicks and superman. i'm sure that my comic brethren beat off to it every thursday. i know if i were in high school still, i probably would.

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