Thursday, August 24, 2006

immigrants and maggots

this morning didn't exactly start out all that great, so i wasn't expecting much on the day.

flash back to tuesday and wednesday when the wife complained that the trash stunk. i didn't give it any thought. shit, i said to myself, the fucking garbage guys come on friday, no big deal.

every morning, my daily ritual of getting the baby into the car involves:

- letting her walk around in the garage while i put her lunch and my briefcase in the car.

- asking her/yelling at her to not play in the kitty litter/oil clean up pile that's been around for two months.

- chasing her down - and then back up - the driveway

- trying to bribe her into the car by basically acting as a pimp with such things like "brian's going to be there...you like brian." or "get in the car before daddy has to choke a bitch."

- and then finally getting her in the car by promising that elmo's in there. its absolutely crazy how that little red fucker dominates her world.

so today, i happened to really look at the garbage. what a fucking idiot. not only did i completely puss out at finding a picture that more adequately represented the putrid i had to clean this morning, for some stupid reason i didn't exactly think that beer can chicken carcass and bbq rib debris would attract those squirmy little rice fuckers. stupid.

at least i only had to work a couple of hours. i already had the afternoon off to go see yet another doctor. i haven't exactly been posting (bitching) about all my shit lately, but i went to a specialist to tell me that i don't have the bones of a post menapausal, 65 year old woman afterall like i was told a while back by some quack at a company sponsored health fair.

i should have realized something didn't quite add up when i asked the technician at the time what that meant and i all i got was a 20 second long blank stare followed by a shrug, followed by her handing me the card from her office and suggesting i call to make an appointment. what the fuck, if you're going to send someone to some silly health fair like that and provide screenings that could potentially scare the shit out of people, perhaps a little training of said person would be a good idea. but i do live in pittsburgh. so maybe that's asking a bit much. maybe its PA. whatever.

oh well. when all is said and done, i in fact have a very healthy core. bone-wise that is. i could probably benefit from doing some crunches from time-to-time.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

quit wasting my time

i receive 3 or 4 ad industry e-updates each day. i don't know the exact quantity because for some reason, they all kind of blend together; serving up the same articles and such. or more than likely, i'm too busy (read: too lazy) to look at them.

as i sit here on hold with US Airways (I fucked up my flight to see the folks in December and am trying to fix it), i'm looking at this morning's musings.

and what the fuck did i see? really? i can't believe that some asshole and his organization actually rate advertisers based on their media buying decisions. this fuckhead obviously doesn't get the goal of advertising. WE PUT PRODUCT IN FRONT OF PEOPLE FOR THEIR CONSIDERATION.

so what this dipshit doesn't get is that media buyers make decisions based on the numbers they see as to who's watching what. the shows with the more eyes get more advertising. its that fucking simple. and so now, me as a parent, i'm supposed to get pissed that GM, Glaxo and Target advertise on the shows I'm into? can i just go ahead and make the leap that i'm a bad dad because I like to watch "edgy" stuff.

where is this organization every day when mcdonalds proudly sponsors sesame street? what the fuck. i hate this guy.

so what if occassionally, some clients whine things like "I don't like Howard Stern so we can't advertise on his show." but those clients are assholes. and when it comes down to it, they don't really want to give their company a better chance for purchase when decision time comes. oh well. that client is more than likely based in Harrisburg, PA. which again, screams "assholes."

now mind you, the Parents TV Council doesn't get into the quality of advertising, which is a whole other story. my buddy can comment on that, but let him finish his whiskey first.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

youtube phenomenon

i think i may be a bit slow catching up to the world on this stuff, but i'm having a blast. who doesnt' love great commercial spoofs?

Thursday, August 10, 2006

THEY GOT A PEPPER BAR!!!



if any of you've talked advertising with me over the past few years, you'll know that i loved, loved, loved the quiznos spongemonkeys or whatever the hell they were called.

In this breaking news clip, i find that the semi-cute furballs may have had an ulterior motive.

can it be true? did the mind that okayed the advertising that made me fall in love with the Q actually seek out a little sex with a little girl? damn it. does that mean that i have to hate the Q now? er wait...i already hate that talking baby. but still dig the subs.

so, i'm okay. i guess.

Monday, August 07, 2006

quadruple ace!!!!

for those that were not around this weekend, lets just put it out there. i stripped in public. full monty on the concourse between the 16th and 17th holes at a putt putt course in OCMD.

there was just cause for it. the much longer story goes simply like this....

- friend puts in his 2nd hole in one in a row.
- i make the bold statement to strip if he sinks a 3rd.
- i hear "currier, you'd better start getting naked."
- i didn't hesitate and in fact proved an earlier statement in the day that i grow and don't show. (that's not to say that i stood there until i got erect so people could see the little guy at attention, i just think that people probably couldn't even see the cock buried amongst my man bush.)

the big headache was how to break it to the wife. she's been around when i made a public spectical of myself before. but all of those times never exactly got to the point where my manhood was on display. well, actually....as a couple, we did play a rousing game of strip cup with 2 other couples. and we did see many a private part. but that was in someone's house and a much smaller, contained group of eyes. with the little kids in the group behind us amongst the strangers that could've seen the schlong, this was obviously a bit different. i knew for sure she wouldn't be all that pleased.

so for a good portion of my drive home, i debated whether i should tell her about it and if so, how. it's not vegas, so ocean city doesn't exactly afford the same lure of crazy stories simply staying as legend and/or heresay. plus, we were going to see the group of people i was with at the time in about a month at a wedding. something like that is bound to come up in the course of conversation. so i had to tell her. but how?

got home. played with the baby a bit. ate dinner. we were both laughing at the baby while i shared different stories from the weekend. she seemed to be in a good mood so i went for it. i took the "i might as well tell you this so it doesn't surprise you next month" approach.

her response? "three in a row is pretty impressive. i'm just glad you didn't get arrested."

very surprising. i thought at least i'd get a little shit for it. i guess that comes when the picture gets released.

i wonder how she'll react when she finds out i did a few shots later that night with my nutbag hanging out of my shorts?