Vacation Recap, FINAL

okay, so i'm a lazy fuck and got away from the recap. essentially, its been about a month since my return and i think its really dumb to even try to continue. so here's the cliff notes.

1) closing the loop on the puzzle reference. one night, who knows which at this point, dinner is being prepared by virtually everyone but me, dave, darth and suze. dave being quite observant asks if anyone's going to set the table. crickets. 2nd inquiry follows. followed by more silence (or silence in terms of an answer). the 3rd repetition (not a repetition actually, but an ask of others to help him set the table) gets a response from my wife (his sister) - "why don't you get off your ass and set it yourself david?" fun ensues and by fun i mean dave spouting off the fact that he's cooked dinner the past two nights (which involved putting meat that was prepared by others onto the flame) and yelling at her to just continue working on her silly puzzle for another 4 hours. the wife holds her tongue, dave throws silverware in the general direction of place settings and sulks off to his room for the rest of the night.

2) pressure cooker, prologue. kind of following the above story, my wife and dave avoid one another for the next few days.

3) load 'em up. beach time for me equaled three days. being a light beach traveler, it drove me nuts that everybody in the family (but me) would pack up their vehicle and drive 2 blocks to the beach. granted, there were multiple chairs, a cooler, umbrellas, kids, towels and such. me - i tend to walk, carrying my chair, the baby bag, a towel and with the help of my wife, the umbrella for which we were responsible. self contained is the way to go. keeps sand out of my car too.

4) group photo. the lone thing my mom-in-law wanted to do the entire week was get an old time photo. not asking for much, right? well, most everyone was into it with the exception of two - guess who? crumudgen and son. anyway, it goes to a family vote (or at least a threat of one) and its decided to do it. funny thing? everyone had a great time. imagine that.



5) puzzles. mom-in-law and the wife finish theirs, but only with the expert help from me. i nailed the shit out of that middle vase! my 3D star destroyer on the other hand gets no love. i manage to get some major chunks complete, but not enough. i give up after 4 days. thanks for the help, wife.

6) pool (w/felt). like i had alluded in a previous update, i stay true and don't touch the pool table again.

7) pool (w/water). i didn't even consider getting in the pool. early in the week, i saw someone fish out some big fucking spiders, which anyone who knows me, can tell you how much i can't stand arachnids.

8) pressure cooked, finale. long story, short - dave and suze have it out the night before he's leaving for home. i mention to him that he acted like a fucking baby for 3 days. he doesn't realize he's talking loud enough to disturb the sand crabs. its silly in the truest sense of the word. oh well. everyone said their piece. things are off chests and after a month's time, it seems to be better. although a different drama recently replaced dave's dysfunction, so who knows if that's really smoothed over or not. we'll see at the turkey holiday when the entire fam gets back together again.

9) doing my part. between my heavy mixing of cocktails for others and partaking in a little drinky-drink myself, i help deplete the liquor counter by emptying the tequila, margarita mix, and kaluha. mind you, it was over the course of the week, and not a single moment of fucked off my gord-ness.

10) wacko jacko, revisited. despite my frequent references to it, i don't dangle keira over the balcony. looking back on it, i feel ashamed for not having the balls to do it. which does nothing but reinforce why he's the king of pop.

so that's it. or what i remember at this point. if something else pops up, i won't bog this blog down with it. unless its just so damn funny/classic that i'm astonished i forgot about it.