ri-goddamn-diculous

back in 1988, my parents and i moved to baltimore. i was 13 years old and a huge fan of baseball. i lived the shit. hell, my parents even delayed the move because my pony league team was doing pretty well in the season-ending city tournament. which for me, was like fate because my team sucked during the regular season; winning only 2 or 3 games. but i didn't really want to move away from my friends so it was nice to stay for an extra week as my team rallied behind my cause.

i digress. so all summer long, i got all kinds of shit because we were moving to the home of the orioles. that team lost their first 21 games that year and everyone just loved telling me to have fun watching that fucking team. and boy did i hate them. i had no idea then that it would simply start what would be a beloved loathing for many years. but for me, that team represented all that was wrong in my world that summer. they personified the shit i was feeling at having to leave my two older brothers, my best friend, and a middle school where i was going to be part of king shit. instead, i was moving to a fucking town with no friends, no brothers, a new school and a shitty ass baseball team.

my team, the royals, were 3 years off their world series victory over the redbirds, and how the fuck was i going to know that they were about to suck for 15+ years. it was bad during high school to endure the anquish of bo knows nothing about how to take a hit, the davis brothers (okay they weren't exactly brothers, but fucking storm and mark sucked so well together they could have been twins), then the fun of the 91 season highlight/glory of mr. royal himself, kirk gibson. and who could forget the fun of the gary gaetti years? fuck me, my royals been really bad through most of my adult life.

flash to a few years ago when they're on the brink of being the next small market team that can. then that falls apart. i paid for the baseball package last year and watched maybe 10 games. i cancelled it this year. thankfully.

and then this fucking losing streak happens. i promise you i hadn't really cared at all about this team until i realized they had lost 17 in a row. then i was brought right back into the thick of things.

back to the o's. god i hated them for so long. brady fucking hit 50 dongs one year. really? ripken and his fucking streak. i respect the durability (especially knowing that i can pull my hammy just sitting here typing), but my god...if he was such a competitive, team player, a fucking rock of all that was good about the game, then he really needed to sit down way before he strolled around that fucking stadium for an hour when he broke gehrig's record.

oh god - here's another thing to add to my reasons to hate that man....high school english project. my group of friends got to make a movie. we did a spoof on indiana jones. great shit. it turns out that i had the only copy. it also turns out that my dad taped over it. to tape ripken's streak TYING game. not the record breaker, but the one before all the hoopla. i should probably give my dad the credit for that shit and hold my grudge against him for that. nope....i fucking hate cal jr so somehow i've warped it into being his fault.

so after cal retired, and brady was long gone, and the raffy train left (the first time - pre drugs) and they sucked just about as bad as kc even though they were still trying to buy victories, i kind of let up on them. i wasn't hating them as much as i used to.

but my god, if my team were to break that 21 game mark, it really would have been the end of baseball for me. the o's pissed away their 1st half surprise, which brought me happiness, but nowhere near the amount that i got on saturday when the royals finally won, after losing 19 straight.

i bring this up, because i just read a fairly humorous article over at page 2. have no idea how or why i stumbled upon it, and the writer tries a little too hard to plant his tongue firmly inside his cheek, but it still gave me the opportunity to have this little theraputic moment.