sappy fuckheads

so, i'm driving into work today thinking about my farewell email. why the fuck is one compelled to send something like that out? is it obligatory to do so? did i really make enough of a mark on this fucking agency that i have to send out a note thanking everyone for the opportunities and whatnot? part of me wants to send a picture of the glass door to the lobby hitting my bare, hairy ass. that works as a farewell, doesn't it? but you know what...i bet the knuckleheads in our media department wouldn't even get the visual metaphor. so even that would be wasted.

yet, part me feels like i have to do it. its a rite of passage, i guess. i have several ideas (beside the ass thing) floating around. i guess i'm trying to figure out a way to send a juicy turd disguised as sincere honesty. i have phrases floating around in my head that i want to use, but am struggling with how to do it properly.

i'm sure that i'll do the "right thing" in the end. but it sure is fun to think up some crazy shit to say.

its funny that this post became a lambasting of the whole notion, because truth be told, i was feeling a bit mopey this morning as i was thinking about my impending departure. i guess that's what an afternoon of trying to distinguish a strategy from a shitstorm will do to you.

i guess i could always blame the mopey-ness on my meds. one of the warnings on the box reads "caution, patients with testicals can, and often do, go through periods of emotional distress. be sure to have skirts on hand on days when taking your shot."