dumb ass-flaps

does anyone ever use those paper butt flaps that are in public restrooms?

i noticed this morning while taking a crap at work that the two people that came in after me (different stalls, naturally) didn't use it. i had not used them. and yet, they're clearly marked "provided by the management for your protection." that, in and of itself, is kind of weird...aren't the fucking nightly cleaners better for our protection than that silly piece of paper?

and perhaps more importantly, aren't there other objects that deserve to be labeled with such a "provided by..." statement like say, bullet-proof vests? those seem a bit more essential than these ass-flaps that apparently no one uses. why try to justify the existance of a lame excuse for protecting my butt cheeks from some microbe of poop or syphillis or something else that lingers? its ri-goddamn-diculous, i say.