holy fuck

my feet are fucking killing me.

i played about 2 hours of hoops tonight and i'll be damned if i feel old. okay, so i played more like an hour and half and shot around for a bit before things go rolling. and the old comment - all i can think of right now is a memory i have of my dad soaking his feet in epson salt. i have no idea how that feels, but damn if i wouldn't try it if only i had that crap in the house.

so get this....typical guy fashion, 4 guys on the court. two know each other in some way, shape or form, but that's it. i get tired of practicing my bricks and finally ask if anyone wants to play 2 on 2. makes perfect sense. right? not to knuckleheads. instead, the other three think it'd be better to play 33. which, as we all know if every man for himself. what the hell? do i really have a neon sign on my head that says i'd be a lousy teammate?

i must, because we finally added more to the mix and wound up running full court 4 on 4. and wow was i pretty bad. actually i was better in full court mode than i was in the 4 man scramble.

dammit, i wasn't paying attention...i just entered a limit hold 'em tourney. fuck. i'm gonna be up all night. but then it is play money. i should just quit. idiot.

bitch, bitch, bitch.

let me start this off by stating the fact that i obviously understand that this post, in and of itself, is nothing more than another example of today's topic.

what the fuck? what is it about people that compels them to bitch and moan about anything and, even moreso, everything? do i really care if some whore in my department doesn't like her parking spot? or how about the cunt down the hall that whines about not having a laptop? does she not realize that its just another chain to the office?!?! fuck - i got my laptop earlier this year and i take shit home with me 2-3 nights a week, including weekends.

sometimes, i really hate people.

in the spirit of free association, if anyone reads this, let me know what's really under your skin lately. apparently, i seem to have the demeanor that just says "tell me what's buggin ya." or probably more accurate, people love talking about themselves (and their issues) way too fucking much.

never around when i need it

i wish to shit that i had my digital camera with me this afternoon.

the family and i went out to a flea market to kill some time. it turns out that we missed it for the 2nd week straight, seeing as how we got there as everyone was packing up (last week we went on saturday not knowing it was a sunday-only establishment). so, instead we get a sub at quiznos, feed the kid, stop at barnes and noble to pay too much for books, and then on our merry way back home.

but the highlight was seeing this couple stuck in 80's metal mania. they both had lion manes, and in classic fashion, the dude's hair was bigger than hers. and he was a rail and she was built like an 80's hag that had let herself go. it truly shows that heaven isn't too far away.

as if that wasn't enough to make my day, we're not 2 miles from the house when we see some stupid fuck standing by the side of the road in a bright pink t-shirt (think neon flamingo) and bright orange shorts. what a stupid cockmunch.

week's worth of rants....

a week goes by and i feel like i was out of the loop on things. but on the flip side, i got a lot of shit done at work. strange how that happens.

- anyone see that show fire me please?. absolute drivel. yet so compelling that these bosses take as long as they do to get rid of these fuckers.

- daily show's new set....love or hate? i tend to hate. it appears i'm not alone as john stewert has made viewer comments a part of the beginning chatter. that, i actually like. i wish i could figure out how to tivo this show for real. both times i tried it, that damn machine saved 4 repeat viewings everynight.

- the kc star stated that buddy ball could work. you gotta love the optimism of the midwest. they even went so far as give a "what if?" table that shows projected year-end records of all three managers this season (pena, shaeffer in the interim, and mr ball himself). good thing they have buddy rather than pena....now they'll only lose 98 games this year. but i guess that is better than the 126 projected for pena. i love baseball.

- comics update (my first and it only took about 10 posts). i swear that if i could get someone who thinks i'm an idiot for reading comics to read 7 issues of 100 bullets they would be hooked. its a fucking amazing head trip. noire. conspiracy. action. mindfuck. great art. fantastic writing. better than most shit on tv and last longer than a good movie.

- addiction. okay, so this may be related to comics, but i find that its hard to break the habit of buying my monthly titles. i'm trying to cut back to pay for diapers, but i don't want to miss out on a good story. i spend about $25 a month and my comic guy laughs at me when i tell him i need to drop a title or two. chump change apparently. how the hell can others spend upwards of $100 a month? even if i didn't have a wife and kid, i can't see myself depleting that much cash for comics. i wonder how much their porn budget is?

- i can't believe ESPN brought back the rick. he's not on top of the mountain in every spot, but he's good, at least from a nostalgia point of view. hell, i bet he's been back for some time, but i've been so disgusted with the royals this season that i've stayed away from espn.

- i love the Burger King "office" spoofs. everytime someone mentions the fantastic four, i have to break into "you are MY fantastic FOUR." call me stupid, but that shit gets me every time.

enough for now. hopefully i'll do something fun this weekend.

- oh wait...hammy update. after straining it a couple of weekends ago playing whiffle ball with my friends,, i took a a gamble and played some pick up hoops at the gym. kicked a little ass, if i might say. but it was two-on-two with a tubby guy and a trash-talking 'fro against me and someone that could've passed as an alternate earth version of me. i let the fat guy post up on me a couple a times (hey...i'm not a big fan of guys in sweat-through t-shirts pressing up against me), but he couldn't keep up with me. i even took off my glasses and was able to rain the 3. i'm so white. but the point is....the hammy's back, baby!

Vacation Recap, FINAL

okay, so i'm a lazy fuck and got away from the recap. essentially, its been about a month since my return and i think its really dumb to even try to continue. so here's the cliff notes.

1) closing the loop on the puzzle reference. one night, who knows which at this point, dinner is being prepared by virtually everyone but me, dave, darth and suze. dave being quite observant asks if anyone's going to set the table. crickets. 2nd inquiry follows. followed by more silence (or silence in terms of an answer). the 3rd repetition (not a repetition actually, but an ask of others to help him set the table) gets a response from my wife (his sister) - "why don't you get off your ass and set it yourself david?" fun ensues and by fun i mean dave spouting off the fact that he's cooked dinner the past two nights (which involved putting meat that was prepared by others onto the flame) and yelling at her to just continue working on her silly puzzle for another 4 hours. the wife holds her tongue, dave throws silverware in the general direction of place settings and sulks off to his room for the rest of the night.

2) pressure cooker, prologue. kind of following the above story, my wife and dave avoid one another for the next few days.

3) load 'em up. beach time for me equaled three days. being a light beach traveler, it drove me nuts that everybody in the family (but me) would pack up their vehicle and drive 2 blocks to the beach. granted, there were multiple chairs, a cooler, umbrellas, kids, towels and such. me - i tend to walk, carrying my chair, the baby bag, a towel and with the help of my wife, the umbrella for which we were responsible. self contained is the way to go. keeps sand out of my car too.

4) group photo. the lone thing my mom-in-law wanted to do the entire week was get an old time photo. not asking for much, right? well, most everyone was into it with the exception of two - guess who? crumudgen and son. anyway, it goes to a family vote (or at least a threat of one) and its decided to do it. funny thing? everyone had a great time. imagine that.



5) puzzles. mom-in-law and the wife finish theirs, but only with the expert help from me. i nailed the shit out of that middle vase! my 3D star destroyer on the other hand gets no love. i manage to get some major chunks complete, but not enough. i give up after 4 days. thanks for the help, wife.

6) pool (w/felt). like i had alluded in a previous update, i stay true and don't touch the pool table again.

7) pool (w/water). i didn't even consider getting in the pool. early in the week, i saw someone fish out some big fucking spiders, which anyone who knows me, can tell you how much i can't stand arachnids.

8) pressure cooked, finale. long story, short - dave and suze have it out the night before he's leaving for home. i mention to him that he acted like a fucking baby for 3 days. he doesn't realize he's talking loud enough to disturb the sand crabs. its silly in the truest sense of the word. oh well. everyone said their piece. things are off chests and after a month's time, it seems to be better. although a different drama recently replaced dave's dysfunction, so who knows if that's really smoothed over or not. we'll see at the turkey holiday when the entire fam gets back together again.

9) doing my part. between my heavy mixing of cocktails for others and partaking in a little drinky-drink myself, i help deplete the liquor counter by emptying the tequila, margarita mix, and kaluha. mind you, it was over the course of the week, and not a single moment of fucked off my gord-ness.

10) wacko jacko, revisited. despite my frequent references to it, i don't dangle keira over the balcony. looking back on it, i feel ashamed for not having the balls to do it. which does nothing but reinforce why he's the king of pop.

so that's it. or what i remember at this point. if something else pops up, i won't bog this blog down with it. unless its just so damn funny/classic that i'm astonished i forgot about it.

waste of time

piederman was robbed.

okay, so i'm a loser. the wife got into this damn show over the past two weeks and i happened to be in the room to watch it as well. bitching and moaning the whole time. but what else was i going to do...read more comics? fuck - i was too lazy to do that even. so i got roped in.

the dancing itself was pretty gay. with the exception of watching the lone hot chick move around. it wasn't shakira dancing in oil hot, but it worked for primetime, wife in the room type of hot.

the only reason that chick won...well, okay two, but there's only one that's actionabale. 1) she's hot - but like any self-respecting man would vote for this shit. and 2) she's a current star on some soap opera so all the fat-ass house fraus dialed in to make sure she won. far superior in his step, peiderman didn't have a chance.

wait a sec....

do my eyes deceive me? on the screen is bootylicious and the others. didn't they break up? okay, so my link says that they announced splitting after the tour. what a fucking money making cop out. we don't exactly like each other anymore, but lets make as much cash as we can. because frankly, the only one that can make money without the others is bootylicious.

woah...i just glanced up and was able to look up byonce's skirt. does that mean jay-z is going to kick my ass?

brian wilson in berlin is much better.

back on! (thanks to a restart)

and what a choice to make...

annie lenox (z i hope you're near your computer) in london or bon jovi in philly?

craptv shows a snippet of jovi. fuck them. lenox is killing in london.

i'm an idiot

so there i was enjoying the event, clicking back and forth from the different live 8 feeds and i got sick of the updates being off. i refresh the browser and now i can't get through to the feed.

so i'm stuck with mtv's sorry ass coverage. who gives a fuck what jimmy fallon has to say about the event? show us the performances. i hate you mtv. if it weren't for my sorry reliance upon your excellent portrayal of stupid youths in america (i.e. real world, made, the inferno) to make me feel better about myself, i'd ban it from my idiot box.

live 8 (i'm editing as i watch so check back)

so, i'm checking out the live feed of LIVE 8 and am a little confused and frustrated. granted, i don't know the full story of how this is happening, but i keep trying to get the live feeds from each location and can't make it happen. i don't know if its bad programming on the site (e.g. i'll hit the tab for london and get rome) or if i'm just an idiot and don't realize that they're timing the entire concert to be sequential (e.g. coldplay in london, then duran duran in rome, then less-than-good charlotte on global feed).

what bugs me is that i want to be able to tune in on my own time and see who i want - u2, coldplay, the killers, keane, etc). i can't even find a schedule of who's playing when. so what am i supposed to do? waste my entire saturday in front of this computer? actually that doesn't sound like a bad idea.

have you seen the playlist for paris? i'd hate to be a frog. they got fucked in the ass - nobody good is playing there...the closest being the cure and maybe dido (who is playing sans eminem so she sucks). so maybe its proper since they're french.

duran duran actually isn't that bad. i got into their second revival (ordinary world time) essentially because my chick at the time liked to make out to that song. i keep forgetting that they had some good music. i tend to remember disliking the bulk of 80's music but then am pleasantly surprised when i take the time to listen to it.

there's elton john and some brit singing "children of the revolution." i think bono wrote that song. i know i have it but don't remember what it was from. what the hell what that for...i can't remember. i thought the other dude was billie joe from green day, but its not. anyone know who that is/was?

great...what a bore. i don't get why i don't like these guys. i kind of liked rage and definitely liked soundgarden. but cornell singing along with the licks of tom morello doesn't quite do it for me. alas, i haven't really given them a chance. what the fuck - morello is talking to the crowd about the reason behind the event and reading the statement? what a sad fuck. speak from the heart. oh wait - i can write better than i can speak (although i'm sure that you couldn't tell by my ramblings here).

> update

wow that really sucks. cornell singing ragae's "testify." really bad. not gonna help my opinion of audioslave at all.

> update

stereophonics in london. i've never really heard these guys. seen there name in the cd shops as i'm looking for stuff from the super furries, but never listened to them that i know of. not bad. oh wait....they're a poor man's oasis.

> update

green day in berlin. i really like these guys of late. i never had dookie, but liked the songs i heard from it enough. in the mid-to-late 90's when everyone was using "time of your life" for everything (remember it on the seinfeld finale recap/preshow?) - lame, lame, lame) i wrote them off. but i got their recent album and it fucking rocks. maybe that's because i've been exploring a little more early punk and they fall in line with that.

> update

my daughter joined me in my lap, so sorry for any typos....

green day performing "we are the champions." kind of nice. nice enough for me not to switch over to REM playing "everybody hurts" or so it says on a scrolling banner. what happened to them? i loved 3 or 4 albums in a row (automatic through up) but didn't even give reveal a chance. didn't stay relavant enough for me i guess. that came out during the time of the strokes and that whole "new" sound or return to old or whatever. green day just ended and took an exit, while being asked questions by a german. they talk funny. back to london.

what the hell is stipe doing with his painted on superhero mask?

> update

so i guess the thing officially kicked off. will smith just started his shpeal from philly. black eyed peas in philly (and mtv) and travis in london. guess which one i'm watching? get the funk off my screen.

speaking of which - mtv really dropped the ball on this. with their 3 stations, they could have different feeds on each, but instead, they have the same shit on mtv and vh1, with some other crap on m2. and they have commercials on. ri-goddamn-diculous. you'd think as progressive they can be on m2, they'd have a different feed on there. but no.

so i'm watching travis. very cool sequeway from "circle" into "stayin' alive." call me a fool for liking all the brit-pop emo shit that could arguably come from the same band, but i like these guys. and coldplay. and keane. and the rest like them.

FUCK - mtv just had a highlight montage that showed u2 on stage (as well as a bit of u2 performing sgt peppers with mccartney). does that mean i missed them this morning? waddafuk! i guess when you're trying to feed the world and end aids and cut debt, you don't have time to publish the schedule of performances. you really do have to waste your entire day. oh well. so much for the gym.