Tuesday, June 28, 2005

not so much...

so when the hell did this phrase become so big? i don't remember it growing up, but i can't escape it. you know how to use it....

i love sticking it in her ass. but putting up with the smell of shit dick until you shower? no so much.

it annoys me to no end. and for that, i blame a coworker that i work with, solely for the fact that she is the first person i ever heard use it. and in fact, that bitch annoys me to no end. probably because of my associating this phrase with her. and her pension for being the loudest mouth in my little world. thank god i don't work closely with her. i would have moved back to baltimore months ago.

anyway, did i miss a show that made this stupid phrase popular? i swear that if it was used in some drivel like the oc, i'm going to strangle that bitch.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

rock and fucking politics, er...roll!

so this is something that kind of sticks in my craw. this morning, while i was making and enjoying my sunday waffles and coffee, the wife happened to have on meet the press (or whatever show tim russert hosts). a segment of it featured an interview with bono about live 8.

i love u2. i once saw 6 concerts one summer, i love them so much. but for some reason i kind of get annoyed by musicians using their celebrity (or anyone for that matter) for political activism. which actually, annoys me that i get annoyed by it. nice circular logic, huh?

why shouldn't people use their celebrity to bring attention to matters that they find important? they're rich because of the adoring public and as such get to experience a lot of things that said public don't have the opportunity to do for themselves. in doing so, they're exposed to shit in the world that bothers them - bono has had a huge bone for africa since the 85 live aid event. he's seen first hand the devastating effects of aids and poverty in the 3rd world and wants others to appreciate the magnitude of the problem. part of me says shut up and sing (although not bullet the blue sky - i've heard that enough. i want some more obsure stuff at the next concert i see). but part of me says good for him....if he and others like him can get lazy fucks like me off their ass to help, then good. i guess it depends on my mood and who the celbrity is. i really hate watching cameron diaz covort around beautiful, yet endangered areas with the likes of jay z or some other fucker. that shit just makes me jealous.

i think i've hurt my head. i should just go back to recapping my vacation.

Monday, June 20, 2005

shot night

it wasn't too long ago, when shot night referred to an evening of binge drinking for me, but with more tequila than beer. but for the past year and a half, its been a whole different thing in my world. i was diagnosed with MS in december of 2003 (on my birthday no less) and since the following january i've been injecting myself with a drug called Rebif three times a week.

its a weird thing, multiple sclerosis. i feel absolutely fine. healthy even. but it gnaws at me at times because i know my body isn't right. for whatever reason, my white blood cells are attacking the cells in my brain causing scars that lead to misread signals. i've changed some of my habits since i was diagnosed - try to eat better, try to exercise more often, try not to get stressed out, take it easy, etc.

i guess on the good side of things is that i'm really in tune with my body now. what gets to me is the fact that i over think everything. i'll wake up with a slight tingle in my hands and i immediately wonder if its the next stage of my disease. that's what sucks about it. there's no set path of degeneration. it could be months/years before i have my next exacerbation. or i could wake up tomorrow and not be able to see. its not as drastic as it sounds, but fuck if it doesn't get someone like me spinning just thinking about it.

so what got me even thinking about this right now is threefold: 1) an idiot coworker of mine asked me about it today; 2) there was a report on The Insider tonight about Richard Pryor's "MS ravaged body" (I'M SURE EXCESSIVE DRUG USE HAD NOTHING TO WITH THAT) and 3) having to take my damn shot, of course.

i blame my bad mood on The Insider. i really hate that show. but dan o'brien's phone calls were indeed classic. okay, i'm better now.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Vacation Recap, PART 4

god damn, i wish we had 'net access in NC because it's getting really hard trying to remember what happened. even looking at the pix from that day isn't helping.

day 4 (tuesday, june 7th):
shit, i think all i did was sit around the house watching tv and the baby (opposite order, of course). i know i watched the baby, because i took this picture.


oh, i remember the highlight of the day....we started puzzles. mom-in-law and the wife started this one....


while they were starting it, the little ones were hanging around and trying to help. (remember when i said that ali is in the helpful stage?) i thought maybe the real puzzleers may get annoyed with the "help" fairly quickly, so i found this one to occupy their time.


of course, being a star wars fan, this was of interest to me too. anyway, the news of us starting puzzles today is not that big a deal in and of itself, but wait for the next couple of recaps!

oh yeah, i almost forgot...ali got into the tequila.


crack for babies

my baby is in the swing watching one of the baby einstein dvd's and is totally zeroed in on it. she gets all excited for a bit, her pupils dilate, she passes out for awhile and then repeats the trip again after she wakes up.




as chip douglas (or whatever the hell his real name was) once proclaimed in one of the most underrated movies of all time, "somebody's got to kill the babysitter."

Friday, June 17, 2005

i admit i'm a geek, but let's take a moment

...to gain a little perspective:

crazy ass collector

i might have a couple boxes of comics and two action figures (unless you talk about by 1 box of childhood gijoes in storage), but i like to think i'm still on the positive side of sanity.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Vacation Recap, PART 3

i promise to make these things shorter. but of course, that's merely because i can't remember much detail of the next couple of days.

day 3 (monday, june 6th):
pretty lazy day. i think we all just sat around the pool or inside the house. went for walks and generally relaxed from the trips the day before. the wife had to dress the baby for the beach and dammit if she wasn't a cute little fucker....



look at that belly!

later that night, we had a bday party for little ali. great cake with sugar frosting. gotta love that kind of shit. rhonnie, or bema as the grandkids call her, got the two kids matching tunics. speaking of tunics, how catchy was that damn young mc infuzed ad? being an ad guy, i can't say that i really liked it....its creativity lie in the song and that goofy ass herman munster style arm swing the ladies did towards the end of their little dance...but fuck me if i didn't start singing the jingle.



ali on left; brit on right

i couldn't resist putting the hat on baby keira. i figure i'm gonna put her through all kinds of stupid shit through the years (making her learn to play a guitar to live out my rockstar dreams, refusing to let her play tee ball because i don't believe in every kid getting a trophy, teach her to swear at an early age so that when she's older and really pissed off, she'll have to come up with the next big "f-bomb" just to get out her frustration - solely in hope that what she comes up with will catch on and some other fuck will make a small fortune putting it on a t-shrt, etc) i might as well start now.


little baby keira

day 4 tomorrow.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Vacation Recap, PART 2

okay - where was i? oh yeah....bitching and moaning. i'm in a better mood now (i guess not being at work will do that to you). so, i'll pass on the warm-up heartache for now and just get to the recap. let's see....

day 1 (saturday, the 4th):
the wife and i met up with saul and rhonnie in frederick, md to help them drive down. my dad-in-law had shoulder surgery a month or so back (he's doing fine, thanks) and we all feared that being stuck in a car for a long time wouldn't do him well. so we helped break up the trip for them. suze drove with him for awhile and i had mom in the car with me. good conversations - baby, work, family, etc.

we packed it in for the night in fredericksburg, va. fredtown. home of my almameter. so i took the obligatory trip down memory lane with the wife and visited the old haunts. wow is that a small campus. mary washington college, or the university of mary washington as its known today, is a lot smaller than i remember. granted there were only 4k students when i was there, which is probably about where it stands today, but it just seemed bigger back in the day. i guess my universe was much smaller then so it just seemed larger. anyways, it was great to walk the campus (10 minutes from end to end and back!!!). it was nice to see the school again. why is it that whenever you visit a college campus, you want to go back to learn? or at least, that's how i tend to feel.

day 2 (sunday, the 5th):
woke up in the morning and drove the rest of the way to corolla. there was a little bit of trepidation in that we wanted to arrive to the house first, but because dave packed up his family and left the 'burgh around 3am, he might beat us there and steal the best room! we worked around that by meeting up at hardee's for lunch. if you haven't eaten a burger there, you're missing out. it is surprisingly a great fucking burger.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY: GRAVEDIGGER!
okay, its not that big a deal, but it is still great to see how fucking redneck one can get. nothing says southern loserville more than monster trucks!

we get to the house, everyone unloads. i've never seen a fridge with more vegetables. imagine you're back in college and you load up the fridge with beer. not the mini-fridges that everyone had in their rooms, but full size. not a single chunk of space for anything else besides beer - and maybe a few condiment bottles. now imagine that same amount of volume. but with veggies. it was a lot. you see, dad-in-law loves a great deal and he has befriended some vendors at the stockyards in pburgh. as such, he gets crates of shit (peppers, onions, avocados, etc) for pennies. and since its such a great deal, we HAVE to consume it all. my logic tells me that if its cheaper than usual, then you can loosen up on your thrifty ways and throw some shit out if need be. but alas, its not me that works the deals at the yards.

i play a little pool with the wife. she has to cut it short to take care of babykeira, so dave finishes up the game and then we play some more. interesting games. i suck. he's actually pretty good. but not that good. he talks the game up - calling shots for everything, "walking the ball" down rails and such. i knew that it was all an illusion when he sinks the 8 pretty early on for a loss, but rather than counting it in my win column, he looks up and says something like "reset the 8?" come on! that's no spirit of competition. so when it comes down to it, i should hand his ass to him. i grew up with a table and should be good. however, i suck nowadays. i blame it on my foureyes. so, i'm keeping track of the win-loss situation and end up falling in the hole something like 3 games to 7. and my wins are with scratches on the 8 or some sad win like that - in fact, i don't actually winning a game for real. i'm sure i grabbed a few w's by putting away the 8, but my performace was so lackluster that i don't remember anything. fucking pathetic. after the trend continues into tuesday, i don't play another game all week.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005


my baby's big melon Posted by Hello

Vacation Recap, PART 1

who doesn't love the outer banks?

who hates OBX?

me, that's who. well - i love the beach down there, but for some reason the abbreviation really fucking eats at me. i absobuletly hate seeing those fucking stickers. hard to explain, but it happens.

the beach was great. the in-laws, for the most part, were great. before i get into a rundown of my week with them, lets set the stage with the cast of characters:

REAL FAMILY
  • darth saul: father-in-law and sith master. my friends have referred to him as the emperor, but i don't think he's all that evil.
  • rhonda sue: mother-in-law. she's a wonderful person and really likes the way i mix cocktails. or maybe i just make them a little strong and she's off her gourd by the time she thanks me.
  • hurricane dave: brother-in-law. i gotta give my mom-in-law credit on the name. calm, calm, calm, fucking rage personified, baby-ish behavior on the backside, back to normal. that is, if you call ignoring certain family members a year at a time normal.
  • buy your love becky: sis-in-law. that name isn't entirely fair to her. really sweet woman who just aims to please. its like pulling teeth trying to pay her back for anything.
  • the wife: my tie to this family and bless her for somehow navigating these waters and coming out unscathed.
THE OUTSIDERS

  • cat's-got-his-tongue tommy: dating becky and a super nice guy. not very talkative, but then again when it comes to being around this entire family, i turn into wall art too.
  • michelle: i can't for the life of me come up with some kind of modifer for her. living with the 'cane i'm surprised she's still part of the family.
  • bucksuperstereo: yours truly.

THE KIDS

  • brittany: beautiful little 7 year old niece. i hope she doesn't grow up thinking that female subservience is the way of life. with dave as a dad, i fear for her.
  • ali (alexandra): great 5 year old niece. headstrong as hell. always wanted to help and then do everything herself. sweet but woah is she going to be a tough teenager.
  • keira: my baby girl. if i could figure out how the hell to post pix to this thing you'd have seen her already.

THE PLOT
as long as i've known my wife, there's always been some kind of heartache in her family. someone's being a prick to someone else. everyone always knows better than you and such. oddly enough, it is all out of love. anyways, for their parents' 65th bdays, the kids gave them a family trip to the beach. great idea? yes, but there was troublefrom the start. we had practically a year of build up before we got there. wanna example? fine...

dave: why do i have to get saladdressing for everyone?
wife: because thats what i assigned to you.
dave: but how am i supposed to know what type of dressing everyone likes?
wife: don't worry about it. just pick something up and everyone will deal.
dave: but what if i don't get the right kinds?
wife: christ david....then they'll go to the store and buy they're own damn dressing.
dave: i don't know....
wife: look. just go to the store and get some stuff. we don't exactly know everyone's likes and dislikes either, but we just got back from costco and we picked up a whole lot of food - chips, candy, macaroni and cheese.
dave: oh. (pause) what kind of mac and cheese did you get?
wife: velveeta.
dave: SEE! I LIKE KRAFT! what am i gonna do with all that stuff i don't like?

come on. that's just fucked in the head.

now i'm all worked up and want to tell other build up stories. i'll do that (and hopefully get into some real vaca recap too) in my next post.

Rest and relaxation?!?

why the fuck should you even take a vacation? you work your ass off the week before you go away in preparation of being out. then you have to work your ass to the bone to play catch up when you get back in.

what bugs me the most is that you'd think shit would be picked up by someone else. maybe i'm just bitching because i don't have a support staff to pick up the slack in my absence.

oh wait. i got someone last week to help out on my accounts. but what does my team leader do? tells me that i can only give her work on one of my seven accounts. and that one account is a new biz win and is simply in the planning phase. fuck that. i need someone to do some of the front line work for me. whatever. work blows. wah, wah, wah. everybody complains about work.

on deck: vacation wrap up. (i would've given a day-by-day play-by-play, but had no web access at the outer banks.)

Friday, June 03, 2005

lazy fuck

so its been well over a month since i started this damn thing, and i just now return...thanks to my quirky little friend from LA that started one of these to talk smack about smack.

let's see....things on my mind that annoy me today:

  • runaway bride. cold feet? come on. get her off my fucking tv.
  • the shield. watched this week's episone last night by Tivo. great show. watch it if you're not.
  • vacation. i'm going to the outer banks next week. why isn't this higher on my list, you ask? i'll be there with all of my in-laws. i love them as much as my own family, but i'm just not used to dysfunction.
  • books. since i'll be on vacation, i'm not sure what to take. i have a book on the beginnings of comics that's supposed to be good (even from non-comics fan sources) and an Elmore Leonard book i haven't read yet. neither seem that appealling to me, right now. i'm just lazy and want to watch great tv lately.