lootylicious

watching the video of people looting in 'nawlins is great fun. sure, its disgusting that people are trying to take advantage of a shitty situation, but when exposed to wonderful highlights such as these, you just have to smile:

- a guy throwing a cinder block at a window and it not breaking. repeatedly.

- cops in a wal-mart, who are supposed to be stopping the looters, actually looting themselves.

- the reporters covering the scene stating the profoundly obvious..."what do the looters plan on doing with all the stuff they're taking. its not like they have homes anymore."

watching all of this has all made me wonder what i'd do in that situation. i think i'm above looting per se, but i do know for a fact that if i were stuck in the big easy with nothing to do, no food or water, i'd sure as hell try to find out the super secret recipe of the famous hand grenades.

so what's gay-er?

and of course, i mean gay in the truest sense of the word. no one reads this shit, so the only person i'll offend by that is my buddy trevor.

driving home tonight, i caught myself doing something and wondered what's more queer...

1) me catching myself singing along to an aimee mann song from the magnolia soundtrack

or 2) a friend of mine and his brother using annie lennox as their hype song when they go to the river boat to gamble?

ri-goddamn-diculous

back in 1988, my parents and i moved to baltimore. i was 13 years old and a huge fan of baseball. i lived the shit. hell, my parents even delayed the move because my pony league team was doing pretty well in the season-ending city tournament. which for me, was like fate because my team sucked during the regular season; winning only 2 or 3 games. but i didn't really want to move away from my friends so it was nice to stay for an extra week as my team rallied behind my cause.

i digress. so all summer long, i got all kinds of shit because we were moving to the home of the orioles. that team lost their first 21 games that year and everyone just loved telling me to have fun watching that fucking team. and boy did i hate them. i had no idea then that it would simply start what would be a beloved loathing for many years. but for me, that team represented all that was wrong in my world that summer. they personified the shit i was feeling at having to leave my two older brothers, my best friend, and a middle school where i was going to be part of king shit. instead, i was moving to a fucking town with no friends, no brothers, a new school and a shitty ass baseball team.

my team, the royals, were 3 years off their world series victory over the redbirds, and how the fuck was i going to know that they were about to suck for 15+ years. it was bad during high school to endure the anquish of bo knows nothing about how to take a hit, the davis brothers (okay they weren't exactly brothers, but fucking storm and mark sucked so well together they could have been twins), then the fun of the 91 season highlight/glory of mr. royal himself, kirk gibson. and who could forget the fun of the gary gaetti years? fuck me, my royals been really bad through most of my adult life.

flash to a few years ago when they're on the brink of being the next small market team that can. then that falls apart. i paid for the baseball package last year and watched maybe 10 games. i cancelled it this year. thankfully.

and then this fucking losing streak happens. i promise you i hadn't really cared at all about this team until i realized they had lost 17 in a row. then i was brought right back into the thick of things.

back to the o's. god i hated them for so long. brady fucking hit 50 dongs one year. really? ripken and his fucking streak. i respect the durability (especially knowing that i can pull my hammy just sitting here typing), but my god...if he was such a competitive, team player, a fucking rock of all that was good about the game, then he really needed to sit down way before he strolled around that fucking stadium for an hour when he broke gehrig's record.

oh god - here's another thing to add to my reasons to hate that man....high school english project. my group of friends got to make a movie. we did a spoof on indiana jones. great shit. it turns out that i had the only copy. it also turns out that my dad taped over it. to tape ripken's streak TYING game. not the record breaker, but the one before all the hoopla. i should probably give my dad the credit for that shit and hold my grudge against him for that. nope....i fucking hate cal jr so somehow i've warped it into being his fault.

so after cal retired, and brady was long gone, and the raffy train left (the first time - pre drugs) and they sucked just about as bad as kc even though they were still trying to buy victories, i kind of let up on them. i wasn't hating them as much as i used to.

but my god, if my team were to break that 21 game mark, it really would have been the end of baseball for me. the o's pissed away their 1st half surprise, which brought me happiness, but nowhere near the amount that i got on saturday when the royals finally won, after losing 19 straight.

i bring this up, because i just read a fairly humorous article over at page 2. have no idea how or why i stumbled upon it, and the writer tries a little too hard to plant his tongue firmly inside his cheek, but it still gave me the opportunity to have this little theraputic moment.

giamatti and son

was i the last to know that paul giamatti (most well known for his perfect portrayal of an orangutan in planet of the apes) is the son of a. bartlett giamatti (most well known for his portrayal of the tubby ball buster that gave pete rose something to bitch about on the radio for the last 16 years)?

its funny, but now that i know, i want to pen a script for the pete rose story and cast paul to play the role of his father. i wonder if he'd sign on or if he'd think my writing included too many dick jokes. who should i approach to play the hit king?

ever wanna kill anyone?

so get this shit. a week or so ago, i get a call from the wife who was just leaving a lunch appointment. she had some lunch meeting at a place in york, pa. when she got there , the lot was seemingly full so she found a place in a neighboring lot. she came out to a fucking sticker placed on her window.




since she started scraping it away SO SHE COULD SEE WHILE SHE WAS DRIVING, you may not be able to make out what it says, but the gist of it was something like "warning: you are parked on a private lot. we've taken down your license plate and will have your car towed if you park here again."

boy was i superfucking pissed. okay, so it was a private lot. and apparently it was posted on the edge of the lot that violators would be towed at their expense.

so fuck...tow the car instead of being an asshole and putting this fucking sticker on our window. i called the towing company and they claimed that the building owner must have done it. i called the restaurant and it was the first they'd ever heard of such a thing. i even called the cops (non-emergency number of course)to ask if there was any recourse i could take. answer was obviously no. i even asked the cop, that since its not an invasion of personal property offense to put a sticker on my window, i could then make stickers up that say "THE OWNER OF THIS BUILDING IS NOT ONLY A FUCKING PENIS, BUT HE EATS COCK AS WELL" and plaster this shit out of his windows. she of course didn't find any humor in this (i could swear that i heard a small chuckle though) and told me that that would be vandalism.

wow, just thinking about it again has really gotten my blood to boil. what fuckheads.

never around when i need it, part 2

last night, i'm driving home and saw another really cool central PA highlight. some fuck was driving a mid-80's cutlas supreme with not only 22 inch tires, but spinning rims.

i really need to start keeping my camera in my car.

am i an insensitive prick?

good question. it came to me this morning after i realized that i am really tired of hearing about the shuttle. come on...they're astronauts. they knew the risks when they decided to attach a rocket to their ass and reach for the stars. granted, if something happens and they die, that is a shame. but please just stop covering it on every news cast. NASA should consider themselves lucky that they've only had what 5-6 major incidents during their entire history? they're fucking around with liquid nitrogen for christ's sake. that shits gonna explode sometimes. and the cracks and felt in the heat shield? come on....i'm sure that's happened a lot in the 25 year history of the shuttle program and everyone's hypersensitive to it because of columbia.

and the "exciting" loop they did in space? nothing. luke and wedge was doing that kind of fancy flying in '77.